Heavy Heart for Thanksgiving

I think this is the first Thanksgiving where I have had a hard time being thankful. I know that I have a lot to be thankful for but not having my sister here trumps everything. My heart is just so sad. When will it stop hurting so much. Everyone keeps telling me that it will get easier and I am becoming impatient waiting for that to happen. I miss her so much. I look at her two boys and see her in their faces. I am happy and sad all wrapped into one. How do you bury your sibling and move on with a whole heart. It's like a part of me is missing and won't ever be filled again. I visited her grave the other day and could barely get out of the car I was so sad. I couldn't believe I was at the cemetery visiting my little sister. I just starred at her grave in disbelief. After a few minutes I came to the realization that this is real, she is gone, she is dead, she is buried, she is in Heaven. As much as I know its true I still can't wrap my head around the fact that I will never see my sister here on earth ever again.

Even though my heart is heavy I still have a plethora of things to be thankful for. I was given a gift when I got Lindsay as my sister and I was allowed to have her here for 28 years. I have an amazing family who all huddled together to support each other when we lost Lindsay. My friends have gone above and beyond to make sure I knew I had someone to lean on. And those two little boys, what can I say, they are just the joy of my life. I can't not look at them and not smile smile. All of the above make my heart happy and very, very thankful.

Sesame Street Live

So I was trying to think of a fun present to get Brody for his 2nd birthday because now he is more aware of what he is getting. My friend Cari mentioned to me that she was taking her little boy to see Sesame Street Live in March and I thought that would be a great present. I was a little nervous that he was still too young to sit through a show. Our show wasn't until Sunday and Cari had taken Parker to see it on Saturday so I was anxious to see how he did with it. She said that he loved it! Parker is a little younger then Brody so I thought we were safe. Of course, we were a little late to the show but that ended up being okay because I don't think Brody would have lasted the whole time. It was so cute because he was so into it. He got excited when certain characters would come on the stage and then sad when they left. He would screem "YAY!" every so often. I was so happy that he enjoyed the show. Of course his favorite character is Elmo so we had to get a picutre with him. I just love my little buddy and can't believe he will be 2 years old on Wednesday. He is growing up way too fast! :)