What's up Bro?

4 months

2012-01-23T10:32:00.002-06:00

Well it's been 4 months today since Lindsay died and it is still hard to imagine. We celebrated Cash's 1st birthday without her, we celebrated mine and my Mom's birthday without her, and we celebrated Christmas without her. Even though I say "without" her I know she is still here with us in spirit through every celebration. Ya know people kept telling me that it gets easier and every time that happened I wanted to smack them up side the head and tell them to shut up. It would frustrate me for people to tell me how to feel when they haven't ever felt the feelings that I am/was feeling losing a sister. I know it was all to help but really, c'mon on! It actually has gotten a tiny, tiny, tiny bit easier. I don't cry everyday now. With that being said, I do hurt and miss her tremendously every second of the day. I know one day when the 23rd rolls around I won't think first thing that it was the day we lost Lindsay. It makes me happy that I can still point at her picture with Brody and he says "Mommy." :) Even though I know it will probably happen, I don't ever want him to forget her. I hate that Cash will never remember her, but we will tell him all about her when he gets older. I had lunch with a friend a couple of weeks ago and we were talking about the memories we had with her. She said that I should write in a journal all of the memories and stories I have about her. I think that is a good idea. I don't want it to get to the point where I forget. I think it will bring me comfort later in the years to sit down and ready those stories and memories when I am really missing her. I have to stop myself often about thinking that she won't be standing by my side when I get married or have babies. It tears my heart a little more every time I do. I know that I will get through this but right now I am still just taking it one day at a time.

Heavy Heart for Thanksgiving

2011-11-23T15:45:00.008-06:00

I think this is the first Thanksgiving where I have had a hard time being thankful. I know that I have a lot to be thankful for but not having my sister here trumps everything. My heart is just so sad. When will it stop hurting so much. Everyone keeps telling me that it will get easier and I am becoming impatient waiting for that to happen. I miss her so much. I look at her two boys and see her in their faces. I am happy and sad all wrapped into one. How do you bury your sibling and move on with a whole heart. It's like a part of me is missing and won't ever be filled again. I visited her grave the other day and could barely get out of the car I was so sad. I couldn't believe I was at the cemetery visiting my little sister. I just starred at her grave in disbelief. After a few minutes I came to the realization that this is real, she is gone, she is dead, she is buried, she is in Heaven. As much as I know its true I still can't wrap my head around the fact that I will never see my sister here on earth ever again.

Even though my heart is heavy I still have a plethora of things to be thankful for. I was given a gift when I got Lindsay as my sister and I was allowed to have her here for 28 years. I have an amazing family who all huddled together to support each other when we lost Lindsay. My friends have gone above and beyond to make sure I knew I had someone to lean on. And those two little boys, what can I say, they are just the joy of my life. I can't not look at them and not smile smile. All of the above make my heart happy and very, very thankful.

Sesame Street Live

2011-03-10T10:52:00.004-06:00

So I was trying to think of a fun present to get Brody for his 2nd birthday because now he is more aware of what he is getting. My friend Cari mentioned to me that she was taking her little boy to see Sesame Street Live in March and I thought that would be a great present. I was a little nervous that he was still too young to sit through a show. Our show wasn't until Sunday and Cari had taken Parker to see it on Saturday so I was anxious to see how he did with it. She said that he loved it! Parker is a little younger then Brody so I thought we were safe. Of course, we were a little late to the show but that ended up being okay because I don't think Brody would have lasted the whole time. It was so cute because he was so into it. He got excited when certain characters would come on the stage and then sad when they left. He would screem "YAY!" every so often. I was so happy that he enjoyed the show. Of course his favorite character is Elmo so we had to get a picutre with him. I just love my little buddy and can't believe he will be 2 years old on Wednesday. He is growing up way too fast! :)

Sweet Baby

2010-11-05T13:51:00.000-05:00

I am a very happy Aunt because my precious nephew Cash Allen Lewis made his entrance into the world on Tuesday, October 26th. Very unexpected because he wasn't due until November 5th. All was well though because he was fully cooked and ready to come.

Okay, so here's the story....short version.....maybe. I was invited by my Aunt to come and have dinner at her house on Tuesday after work. As I was on my way over I was talking to my Mom on the phone. In the middle of the conversation she clicked over because Lindsay was calling. Not an unusual occurrence. When she came back I asked her if everything was okay. She said yes. LIE! Anyway, I will get back to that later. :) I get to my Aunt's house, left the phone in the car to charge, and went in and started chatting with her. Not too long after that her phone rang. It was my Mom and she wanted to talk to me. She told me that Lindsay was in labor and at the hospital. My exact response was, "WHAT???", kind in a loud screamish voice. My Aunt could tell what was going on so she so kindly packed up some dinner that she cooked for me and sent me on my way. I was the first one to the hospital around 7:30pm or so. Lindsay had already received her epidural so she was doing just fine. After while my Mom and Dad showed up and we were just sitting around waiting and waiting. Oh and back to the lie thing. When Lindsay called in the middle of my phone call with my Mom she wasn't calling to say everything was okay, she was calling to say she was in labor and on the way to the hospital. They didn't want anyone else to know just in case they were sent home. Anyway, around 11:30pm I started getting hungry. You wonder why because I had this nice dinner packed up for me. Well I put my nice sister-in-law pants on that day and let Gabe have it since he would be up all night with Lindsay. Pat on the back for me. :) My Dad and I wandered around looking for a vending machine. We finally found one and headed back up to the room. When we got out of the elevator my Mom said that everything was a go and Lindsay was ready to have the baby. We all went into the waiting room, thinking it was going to be about 45 minutes like with Brody, and no more than 10 minutes did my Mom come in saying that we had another little boy. Way to go Lindsay! We did, however, have to wait another 30 minutes so they could clean everything up and let Lindsay feed baby Cash. When we finally got to see him, I instantly fell in love. I don't know why I thought he was going to come out looking like Brody, but he is definitely his own person with his own look. He is just adorable.

The new family of four is now at home and doing just fine. Brody is a great big brother and helps his Mommy out all the time finding paci's for Cash and giving them to him. Love them all!

What's been going on...

2010-07-15T10:03:00.000-05:00

Well, I have had quite an eventful couple of months, to say the least. It definitely started off good with the announcement that my sister and her husband will be welcoming a new little boy into their family this fall. They clearly aren't wasting any time popping babies out. :) We are all very excited to meet little Cash come November. I miss having a baby around. Brody is growing up so fast. He doesn't make the cute little baby noises anymore...he is making words now. I can't wait to see what the next one will be like.

On a not so good note, we found out that my Uncle has bladder cancer. Him and his wife live near by and I am really close with them. My Grandad and I usually have dinner with them once a week. After finding out the prognosis, about a week later he went into surgery to have the cancer spots removed. Well apparently it was not very good because when they went in there the cancer was covering most of his bladder. They scheduled another surgery a couple of weeks later to have his bladder and prostate removed and then reconstruct another one from his intestines and put back in. It was like a 6 to 7 hour surgery. My Aunt was a mess. He came through the surgery with flying colors. He was in the hospital a week and came home this past Tuesday. It will be about a month of recovery time. Right before he left the hospital his final scan came back and showed that there wasn't any cancer at all in his body. They got it all out and it hadn't spread. Praise the Lord!!

Another good note is that my Aunt and cousin from Virginia came in town on July 8th. It is always fun having them in town. I try and spend as much time with them as I can. Well I had a little pinch in that plan because I came down with strep throat last Friday. I woke up that morning not being able to swallow and hardly able to talk. We were doing birthdays at work that day and I had the stuff so I got ready like normal and headed up there. When I walked in and saw the way I looked and heard me talk they sent me right home. I went to the doctor that afternoon and my sickness was confirmed. I hadn't had strep since I was a kid so I forgot how much it hurts. Besides the fact that I was miserable for 3 days, I had to take care of myself. :( When I had it as a kid Mommy was there to make it feel better. This time I just had my cat and he really did nothing to help me feel better. :) After being on antibiotics for the weekend I was able to go back to work on Monday. Definitely lost 8lbs. not being able to eat or really drink anything for 3 days. AWESOME!!! Of all the weekends I could have been sick, it came on the worst one. I had some really fun plans. I was going on a boat for my friend's birthday, I had a friend from California coming into town, and my family was here. I just laid in bed thinking about all of the fun that was happening without me. Poor me. Oh well. I am good to go now. It is still lingering a bit but nothing I can't handle. Well that's about it in a big nutshell about what has been going on.

Until next time....

Easter

2010-04-05T10:21:00.001-05:00

I had a wonderful Easter this year. Of course it gets crazy trying to accommodate 2 different families, but we made it all work. On Saturday my Mom hosted Easter lunch at her house. I picked my Grandad up and off we went. My Grandmother is in town from San Antonio so it was nice to have her here for Easter. Honestly, I think this might be the first Easter I have ever spent with her. Hmmm. We got over to Moms a little early because I wanted to help her cook lunch. The food was just coming out of the oven and my sister, her husband, and Brody showed up. Just in time because we would have started without them. That sounds bad but we got the okay a head of time because they had to wait for Brody to wake up from his nap. Who know what time that would have been. Well because they showed up when we were about to eat meant Brody had not napped. It was fine because they put him down when they got there which left them free to eat without having to chase the little man around. We had a great lunch and great time playing with Brody after he woke up. After looking at my pictures I saw that I only took pictures of the baby and of nothing else. I probably should work on that for the next holiday. :) On Sunday we went over to my Grandad's place for lunch. We typically do lunch at my Aunt and Uncle's house but her birthday happened to fall on Easter this year so of course we wouldn't make her cook. We had a nice time even though it was minus my sister and her family. It was kind of a situation where they had to pick either my Dad's family or her in laws. Since they were with her family on Saturday, they decided to do Gabe's family on Sunday. It was all good. For my Aunt's birthday we got her a red velvet cake and it was AMAZING! That is my favorite kind of cake. Amongst all of the family fun, I would stop and think every so often that Grace came into play on this day and by that Grace I get to spend eternity in Heaven......and that is what I am most thankful for.

Fun Weekend

2010-03-07T19:15:00.001-06:00

Well I had a fabulous, relaxing weekend.....well, kind of. My sister's husband went out of town for the weekend so she asked if I would come and stay with her. Of course I would never say no to spending time with her and Brody, so I was all over that one. We ended up staying at my Mom's house on Friday night because her husband was out of town too. It took me about an hour and a half to get there after work on Friday. It usually only takes about 50 minutes because she lives in Frisco. I am not used to horrible traffic on my way home from work but this time I got worst of it. I was so ready to not be in the car so half way through the drive to Mom's house my attitude went from bad, to worse. The plan was that once I got to my final destination we were going to go eat at a Mexican restaurant. I was certainly good with that seeing I was in desperate need of a Margarita. :) Well we had a nice dinner and I had an awesome drink and all ended well. I had to get up at 4:30 in the morning on Saturday to take my Mom to the airport. The original plan was for myself, Lindsay, Brody to go but Lindsay said she would rather not wake up Brody when he had the opportunity to sleep in. I couldn't argue because it was legit. Nobody wants to hear a screaming baby first thing in the morning. After a Starbucks run we were on our way to the airport at 6:30am. I wasn't as tired as I thought, which was nice. After hugs and kisses I dropped Mom off and headed over to my sister's house. I received a text on my way saying that her door was unlocked. When I walked in, her and Brody were snoozing away. That would have been a perfect time for me to nap as well, but noooo, I wasn't tired at that point. After everyone was awake, showered and ready to go we headed out to lunch and to Walmart. Lets just say we didn't last long at Walmart because Brody wasn't having it. We got what we needed and headed out. We got back to the house and just hung out the rest of the day. Brody is going trough this phase where he cries just because. Nothing is wrong with him, he just cries. I asked Lindsay if he was teething or something and she said no that he was just going through a phase. It is a horrible phase because while we were making dinner he started to cry and since Lindsay wasn't paying any attention to it he came over to me and crawled up my legs looking up at me wanting me to pick him up. I wanted to SO bad but Lindsay told me that we can't feed into it because he needs to learn that he can't get what he wants just because he is crying. It seriously broke my heart that I couldn't pick him up when when he was crying and wanting me too. I almost started crying myself. It was rough but 5 minutes later he was fine and laughing at his toys. Way to put your Aunt through that Brody. Its all good. Brody went to bed and we ended up having a nice evening. Brody turns 1 a week from Tuesday. I can't believe he is already a year old. Time is sure flying by. I will have to post again after his party. I am so excited. He is becoming such a big boy. I just love him.

Christmas

2009-12-27T16:14:00.000-06:00

I had a fantastic Christmas! I love spending time with my family. My sister decided to have all if the festivities at her house. Lets just say I did A LOT of driving to and from McKinney. We did Christmas Eve with our Dad and Christmas day with our Mom. Watching Brody celebrate his 1st Christmas was something I will never forget. I love how he had no idea what was going on and that it was just another day. It will be nice when he kind of has a clue next year. :) He did really well with opening prestents, although he was more excited with the paper than the gifts. He really impressed me because I gave him a rocking horse that was really close to the ground, so he didn't hurt himself getting off, and when his dad put him on it for the first time, he knew exactly what to do. I couldn't believe it because I don't think he has ever been on one before. It was too cute! My Grandad has been out of town for about a month and a half and I can't wait for him to come home. He will be home in about 10 days. I really miss him. Once he gets back we will do Christmas all over again with him.

What's been going on....

2009-12-03T16:04:00.000-06:00

Well, Thanksgiving was a blast. I enjoyed having a couple of days off of work and of course I LOVED the turkey. I spent Thanksgiving with my dad's side of the family because my mom was in San Antonio with her mom. As much as I missed my mom, it was easier just being with only one side of the family. We went over to my Aunt and Uncle's house and had a wonderful feast. My sister's family was a little late because even though my mom was gone, she still had the in laws to see. Everyone of course enjoyed the baby. I fed him some mashed potatoes and he sure did want more and more. It was too cute. Of course the night of Thanksgiving is the best sleep ever because you are nice and tired from the turkey and your belly is full. It was delightful. Well four days after that I was able to celebrate my 29th birthday. It was wonderful. Probably one of the best birthdays I have had in awhile. Of course I had to work that day....blah, however, my coworkers treated me like a queen. I have a good group of girlfriends there and when I walked in the door they had a Starbucks drink waiting for me along with a present. They got me a basket full of goodies from Bath & Body Works and a $20 gift card to Starbucks. They sure know me well. We all went to Razoos for lunch and it was fabulous. I am pretty sure I haven't eaten there since I was 14. I didn't like spicy food then but I sure do now. It was great. Both of my parents were out of town so my sister asked me on Thanksgiving if she could take me to dinner on my birthday. It was really sweet. Since she lives in McKinney we had to meet in the middle so we went to the Texas Roadhouse in Bedford. I got me a nice juicy steak. It was awesome. I am very thankful for my family and friends who made me feel so special that day.

I'm a dummy.

2009-10-20T17:15:00.000-05:00

Well, I have been gone for quite awhile, but now I'm back. It wasn't because I was just so busy that I didn't have time to sit and write a blog, it was because I am a dummy and when I changed my email address, I forgot to change it on here. I couldn't log in for the longest time. I FINALLY figured it out yesterday. Sometimes my head can be in the clouds. If you asked my sister, she would probably say I lived in a cloud. :) Anyway, a lot has gone with me, some good, some bad. Lets start with the good. My precious baby nephew Brody is already 7 months old. Time sure does pass you by. He is crawling all over the place and has 2 bottom teeth. He is just the cutest little bundle of joy. I enjoy every minute I get to spend with him. I try to go to McKinney on my Friday's off to spend the afternoon with Lindsay and Brody. My sister is working part time so it leaves me the mornings to sleep in and the afternoons for fun. I bet Brody will be walking within a month. He crawls with one knee on the ground and then he will use his foot for the other leg. My friend said that her baby did that and it was right before he started walking. Once that little boy starts to use his feet, there's no stopping him. Also on a good note, my mom and her husband sold their house. They will be moving to Frisco, which is closer to McKinney. One guess on why they picked Frisco. Pretty sure you guessed it. :) All of their Grand babies are in that area. I am the only one that doesn't live around there. I guess when grandchildren come into the picture, it kind of pushes the children to the back burner. I am just kidding. I am glad that they will be there to help Lindsay. I got my Papa near me. I'll be fine. Okay time for the bad stuff. So, I think it was about a month ago when I took my Grandad over to my mom's house to watch a football game and I noticed that my top left lip was a little big. I know what you're thinking, but I didn't get into a fight. It did kind of look that way though. I had no idea what it was. I was just going to let it heal on its own because that is usually the game I play. Well, I was really tired that day because I wasn't feeling that great and I had done a 5K the day before, so I went upstairs and laid down. Well, when I woke up a couple of hours later, the swelling had gotten worse. I went back to sleep and when the game was over, my mom came to check on me and the swelling had moved up to my eye. It wasn't so bad that I couldn't see but it was worse. By that time I think it was 11:00 PM or so. She said that we needed to go to the ER because you can't wait things out when it comes to swelling on your head because it could effect your brain. I have already had enough brain issues to last me a lifetime. :) Well the Dr. at the hospital said it was facialselulitis (sp.) and wrote me 2 prescriptions and told me to see my regular doctor when I could. When I woke up the next morning, I am not kidding you, if I were green, I would have looked like Shrek. Well, half my face would at least. It had gotten way worse. We took pictures but I am not going to post them because it looked horrible. I don't really panic anymore about big stuff like this but after the 2nd day and it hadn't gone down, I started to get a little nervous. I ended up seeing my regular doctor 2 days in a row and he gave me 2 shots in my booty. Let me just say when they tell you before they give you the shot that it is going to hurt, you know it is going to hurt. Usually they just say that it is going to be a little stick. No, this nurse said, "just so you know, this is going to hurt." What I said, in my head was, "well shit." Yes, it hurt, but nothing I couldn't handle. After I got my second shot the swelling came down and I was able to go back to work. Since I took 3 days off work to play Shrek, ha ha, I now can't go to my cousin's wedding in November. I had 3 days saved up to use to do that. Oh well, she will understand. Well, my face is back to normal now but it was not a fun experience. Oddly enough, it really didn't hurt that much, however it was pretty uncomfortable. Oh well, its all good. Sorry for the long story, but you have to admit, that was a little amusing. I went and saw Brody while I was "Shrek" and I told Lindsay that I was nervous that he would be scared of me. She said, "he'll play with anything." Awesome. :) Okay, so now that I know how to blog again I will stay up to date, and I won't post long blogs like this anymore. This may have actually been a 2 day read. Ha, ha, just kidding. Peace and love!

Bye, bye Brody...

2009-06-17T17:41:00.000-05:00

My little nephew is 3 months old as of yesterday. He really lights up my life. I keep his picture on the desktop of my computer at work and whenever I look at him I smile. I mean how can you not. He is such a happy little guy, well, most of the time. He does get angry every now and then. I am sad becaues my sister and her husband will be moving back to McKinney in the next couple of weeks and I won't be able to see Brody as much as I have been. Every time he does something for the first time I get to see it pretty closely to when it happens. Since he will be farther away I will miss his new milestones and that makes me sad. I am going to try and be around as much as possible so he knows that I am his Aunt who loves him more then he knows.

2009-05-29T17:31:00.000-05:00

Well it has been a rough month. We lost my precious Grandfather on May 9. As hard as it was to say goodbye, it was time for him to go. His quality of life had dwindled to the point that I think he was ready to let go. My Grandmother, in all her grief, took a deep breath and began planning the funeral. He was to be buried in Seward, Nebraska so that is where the funeral was held. Most of my mom's family lives up there. I have already lost one Grandparent but I didn't realize the hurt I would feel at the service. He was in the Navy and was a POW in the Vietnam War. During the end of the service a Navy song was played and my Grandmother lost it. It pained my heart to see my Grandmother hurting so much. At the cemetery they did a 21 gun solute and a fly over. He deserved all of that and more because just look at what he did for our country. As they folded the flag that was draped over his casket and handed it to my Grandma she clinched onto it like she was giving my Grandfather a great big hug. I know she misses him every day. He will definitely never be forgotten.

Prayers please.

2009-04-29T11:00:00.001-05:00

So I have been so overwhelmed lately that I haven't had time to post anything. My grandfather has been diagnosed with brain tumors and only has about another month to live. I went to see him last weekend and couldn't believe what I saw. He has always been a big tough guy, but he looked weaker than I have ever seen him. He was literally skin and bones. The tumor is in a place in his brain that isn't allowing him to talk or swallow. We brought a white board with magnetic letters so he could spell stuff out to us. He is so weak that it is hard for him to point to multiple letters at a time. I know that he is frustrated with his quality of life right now. What is so hard is that he is not ready to die but he has no choice. The doctor said that with some radiation it would prolong his life about a month. Well, he is not taking well to the radiation so they are having to hold off on that until he gets a little stronger. Every time a plan has been made to help him get a little more life it quickly ends up in shambles. I know that he is not ready to go yet and it hurts that there isn't any way for us to give him a Little more time. What is so great about his is that he is so concerned with everyone else while he is going through this. If my grandmother is at the hospital all day, he will tell her to go home so she can rest. He knows that everyone he loves more than anything is about to be in a lot of pain after his passing and it hurts him so much. We know that we cannot save him so I just pray that God will wrap his arms around everyone close to him and comfort them as much as possible. This is going to be a hard next month. I am going to see him one final time in a couple of weeks. I really don't know how to say goodbye to man I love so much. All I can do is tell him how much he means to me and that I will always keep him in my heart. Okay I have to stop typing before I really start crying. All my love!

2009-03-20T15:35:00.000-05:00

Couldn't you just eat him up??? Cutest nephew in the world! This was his St. Patrick's Day outfit. You can tell he is loving the pictures. :)

Lets talk about my new friend :)

2009-03-18T17:02:00.000-05:00

Okay so I have this new friend and she is quite the weird one. Totally kidding. She mentioned today that I hadn't ever mentioned her in any of my blogs. I wanted to reply with the fact that I have only known her for a month and wasn't exactly sure if I liked her. Yeah whatever, I love her! She is sometimes a breath of fresh air. I was a little nervous coming into the new work environment wondering if I would make friends with anyone. She was actually the first hand I ever shook. She was the one who trained me so I thought she would hate me by the end of the first week. Not the case at all. She has turned out to be fabulous. It seems that we have a lot in common. I love that we have the same sense of humor because some people frown on mine every so often. She can walk into a room and I will just start laughing. She is that funny looking. Kidding. Usually when I am on the phone I make her leave the room because I know I will bust out laughing in the middle of the conversation. Oddly enough, some people don't like that. I have really enjoyed getting to know her and I think that we will grow to be great friends. Love ya Shelley! :) By the way, she is the one on the right. (she is going to kill me for this one)

Brody Journey Lewis

2009-03-17T10:45:00.000-05:00

I'M AN AUNT!!!!! I can't belive he is finally here. He is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. He was born on Monday at 11:09 am. My poor sister was in labor for 16 hours. I could tell she was uncomfortable every bit of that time. I am so proud of her for doing this. She is such a trooper. I have been able to handle some tough physical situations, but nothing like this. Way to go Lindsay!

He's comin'....

2009-03-01T18:08:00.000-06:00

Oh my goodness, I am going to have a nephew in about a week. I can't believe it is finally here. My sister's tummy has about had it! It is so big. I know she is ready. If you have a spare minute, please pray for Lindsay and the delivery. Bless her heart she has no idea what to expect and it taking everything as it comes along. She isn't really saying much but I know she is scared. Heck I would be. I just hope that she knows that she can do it and not to worry. I know that when I get that phone call that she has gone into labor I am just going to fall apart. God is about to give us a precious baby boy here very shortly. I CAN'T WAIT!!! I will post pictures when he gets here.

2009-02-22T14:15:00.000-06:00

Well lets just say I couldn't be happier with my job. The people there are so great. Even though I have to work 10 hours a day it goes by so fast because I am so busy. Last week was my first full week working there and it all caught up with me on Saturday. I finally got up and about an hour after I did that I wanted to crawl back into bed. I am happy I had plans for lunch or I am sure I would have stayed in bed all day. After I got back around 2:00 I definitely took a 2 hour nap. Basically Saturday was the day for me to catch up on my sleep. After a couple of weeks I am sure I will get used to the schedule. I am happy to have a 4 day week this week. This whole having every other Friday off is going to work out just fine. :) So my nephew will be here in less then 3 weeks. I teared up a little bit when my mom was telling me how Lindsay and Gabe were going to have to schedule their induction if Brody didn't come the week he was due. With all the talk about having to induce and then deliver made me a little sappy. I really can't believe that my little sister is about to be a mother. Her and Gabe are going to be great parents. Their bags are packed and they are ready to have this little boy. Well, thats all the news I have for now!

I'M EMPLOYED!!!

2009-02-12T18:11:00.000-06:00

I GOT A JOB!!!! I am so excited! I was trying so hard and getting no where and my doubts were beginning to show. I just kept praying that the right job would come my way. Oh it sure did. Right when my hopes were beginning to go down and angel stepped in. I received a call a couple of weeks from one of my best friends who is going to Harvard. First of all I was so happy she called because with all of her studying for her PHD we don't get a lot of time to chat. Well anyway, the first thing she asked me was if I had a job yet. I replied to her in a very somber tone, "No." She then proceeded to tell me that her dad called her that day and was telling her that they were needing a receptionist at his company ASAP. It is basically a company that runs and facilitates nursing homes and assisted livings. Anyway, she said that her mom remembered her talking about how I had been laid off and wondered if I still needed a job. I of course jumped at the chance to get this job. My friend gave me the number of who to call and told me to remember to say that Mr. Harrington referred me to the position. I then asked her what her dad did at the company because in my mind I was wondering how much pull he had. Well apparently he has a lot of pull because he is definitely the C.E.O. Heck Yeah! I went in for my 1st interview last week with a couple of ladies. It went well. I then met with Mr. Harrington just to finally meet him. I have been friends with his daughter for like 7 years and have only met her mother. We got to talking and he said that he told Meredith that he could get me the interview but I would have to do the rest on my own. Sounded fair. I had my 2nd interview with the immediate supervisor on Tuesday. That seemed to go well too. She mentioned that 4 other people had applied for that position and she still had one more interview that afternoon. Even though I knew the C.E.O. I still knew there was competition out there. I figured that I wouldn't know anything until the end of the week. Yup, I was wrong. I got a call later that afternoon from someone offering me the job. I took it of course. I started today and absolutely love it. The people there are fantastic and I get every other Friday off, which is great seeing as I have a newphew coming in 4 weeks. I couldn't be any happier or blessed. When all is seeming to fail, God still has your back. Lesson learned.....AGAIN. :)

Nothin' new...

2009-01-12T13:17:00.000-06:00

Well, I really don't have anything new to post other than I am still job searching. I have had a couple of leads but they didn't seem to work out so I am just going to keep looking. My friend Lindsey hopefully will be having her little boy this week. I know she is ready for him to be here. I can't wait to meet little Brady. My sister is having her first baby shower in a couple of weeks and I am so excited. I feel bad for her sometimes because she is so uncomfortable. I really hope she will enjoy her next pregnancy. Oddly enough I am enjoying every minute of her being pregnant. I guess I don't really matter in this situation though. Fine with me. She is just so stinking cute with her little belly. I got to feel the baby kick over the weekend. I have been wanting to feel him move for quite awhile now and he finally cooperated. It was so special. Only 8 more weeks until we get to meet that little man. I am glad I have all of this other activity going on around me so I don't get discouraged about being unemployed. Well, back to the job search. Hopefully I will get to tell about my new job on my next post. Wish me luck!

Merry Christmas

2008-12-24T11:28:00.000-06:00

Well with all of the yucky stuff I am going through I am going to make Christmas great because Christmas is not about having a job or presents. I had to remind myself that Christmas is about another VERY important reason. That put things in perspective right away. I am going to be happy! The festivities start tonight. We are doing Christmas with my mom this evening and then doing Christmas day with my dad. It will be an eventful couple of days. I am really thankful for my supportive family. I wouldn't want to do anything else on Christmas but to spend time with them. Next year is going to be a brand new year and a really good one for me. My future got brighter the day I got let go from my job. I am excited to see what God has in store for me in 2009. I hope you guys are ready to come along with me on this crazy journey. :) Merry Christmas!!!

2008-12-17T13:29:00.000-06:00

Well Christmas is supposed to be a fun, joyful time of year for everyone. I am having a hard time with that today. I just found out this morning that I was let go from my job. I understand that everyone is taking a hit because of how bad the economy is, but it didn't really hit home until it directly effected me. I know things will be okay but it is just hard right now. I have never had this happen before. It kind of came out of no where for me to be honest. I have a job until Dec 31. See, bosses should have these conversations with people right before it is time to leave because now that I have received this crappy news I still have to work all day and be really nice to people. I need to go home and process all of this. Since I didn't know this was coming I didn't look for any back up opportunity. I know I am kind of rambling but I really just don't know what to do right now. Lots of prayers are greatly appreciated right now. I know I can turn things around and find a really good job. I need to get on that mind set....I don't think it will be today though. So sad.

2008-12-05T12:05:00.000-06:00

So my cat finally got mad at me, and I certainly paid for it. Typically when I go to bed "Lucky" starts out in the bed with me and then sometime during the night he leaves. I am still not sure where he sleeps, but oh well. Well, a couple of nights ago around 2:30 am he decided to play with anything in my room that made noise. I woke up of course and it took me about 45 minutes to finally get him to lay in bed with me and go back to sleep. Yeah, so it definitely happened again the next night. I was so tired and didn't want to deal with it so I picked him up, put him outside my door, and shut it. When I was leaving for work the next day I saw that he had basically destroyed my living room. Pictures on the walls were half hanging and any pictures I had on shelves were knocked off. Basically any nick knack sort of thing was on the floor. He clearly was upset with me for locking him out of my room. I am really glad nothing broke because he got on to the high shelves. Not really sure how he did that. Oh well. I took the chance and locked him out again last night and much to my surprise he did fine and nothing was knocked over. I feel bad not letting him in my room, but if I am going to stay awake at work, I need a good nights sleep. Oh the joys of having a cat. :)

2008-12-03T09:35:00.001-06:00

I had a fabulous 5 days off of work. It was a bear coming back yesterday. I was EXHAUSTED! Thanksgiving was great, as always. There was more food then we knew what to do with. Since we have to split it between my mom and my dad, we had lunch with dad and dinner with mom. At the end of the day I honestly felt gross because I had eaten so much. Yay for that extra 5 lbs. that have taken up a new home on my hiny. Football was good and bad. Awesome for the Cowboys, sorry for the Aggies. I had wonderful, wonderful birthday on Monday. My friends gave me a lot of love that day. I took the day off from work because really, who wants to work on their birthday. Since my mom and I share our birthdays we decided to spend the day together. We hadn't done that in a very long time. We went to lunch, a movie, and then dinner. It was very eventful. Okay lets talk about the movie. We saw the movie 4 Christmases. It was hilarious! I highly recommend it. Yeah so I may have seen that movie 2 times in 4 days. Is that weird? I saw it on Thanksgiving day with my grandad, aunt, and uncle. It was a spur of the moment thing on Thanksgiving. I told my mom that I would see it again with her because it was so funny. I think I am done seeing that movie for awhile. I got a new digital camera for my birthday. I was so happy about that. I had one but with all of my moving around the charger got lost. I loved that camera so much that I went to 4 different stores looking for a charger. Technology baffles me because even though the camera is only 6 years old the people at the stores acted like I had bought it in the 80's. It really is a perfectly good camera. After the 4th store I knew I was going to have to give it up. I was so sad. It is sitting in my room on my dresser because I can't bring myself to throw it away. I do love my new camera. I am still trying to figure it out but so far it working out just fine. It is so small that I keep it in my purse all of the time. Hey, I might just need to whip it out and capture a picture, you never know. I haven't ever had to do that before but it could happen at any time. Always be prepared. I still have birthday dinner and lunches with my friends through next week so I will be quite busy. :) Oh, and my sister is only 15 weeks away from having little Brody. Her belly is growing and is really cute. So exciting!

2008-11-24T16:33:00.000-06:00

Well, I went and got myself a little kitty. Well, he isn't that little. His name is Lucky and he is about 4 months old. One of my best friend's mother has a cat and it had kittens a while back. My friend called me and asked if I wanted to come over and look at them and take one home. I said no at first, but the more I thought about it the more I wanted one. I was mainly concerned about how much it would cost to get him fixed but her mom said she would pay to get him fixed and his first round of shots. What?? I can do that. I called her back and told her I would come look at them. I think they were only a week old when I saw them the first time. THEY WERE SO CUTE! How could someone just walk away from those precious little things. I picked one out and then had to then be patient while she scheduled him to get fixed. It finally happened last week. Boys are so much easier to take care of after they get fixed then girls. When I brought him home he was jumping up on the bed and running. I know that with girls the procedure is a little more invasive. He is all good. He is so loving and loves to be around people. Everywhere I go, he goes. He doesn't like me to be out of his sight, unless he is sleeping. I have to watch my step most of the time so I don't step on him. The only issue I have is that he is very messy when it comes to his litter box. This is a recent thing too. Over the weekend I noticed that the area around his litter box was covered in litter. I thought maybe it was just an accident but after I cleaned it up it was like that again the next morning. I guess I am just going to have to get used to this. We had 2 cats growing up and none of them were this messy. I can see a little bit flying out but not this much. I think he might be doing this on purpose. Yeah, probably not. All in all I love having him around. I feel bad that I have to leave him home alone all day, but I guess he can deal with it...got no choice. Guess what??? THANKSGIVING IS ALMOST HERE!!!! Can you tell I'm excited?? Only a couple more days of work left. I know they are going to be really long days, but they will go by and then it will be turkey day! I have a feeling everyone who reads this thinks I am nuts because I am so into Thanksgiving. I am really not that crazy, but if you think I am, I can live with it. :) Peace out!!

Life's lessons

2008-11-18T13:46:00.001-06:00

Look at me, 2 posts in 1 week. Don't get excited because this won't happen very often. I just wanted to say that I have been learning a lot lately. I have a hard time just letting things go or roll off my back, but recently, with a lot of prayer and hard work I have been getting a lot better at it. I have a friend that I haven't even known for a year who has kind of done me wrong these past couple of months and I have had a hard time getting over/through it. She was a person I opened my heart to, and that doesn't happen very often. I really think sometimes I have to realize that people have stuff going on in their lives that I don't know or shouldn't know about. Sometimes it is really crappy stuff. Ya know, sometimes I can be a pain in the rear because my life isn't peachy so I really need to give my friends that same benefit and not take it personally. What I have learned is that just because things aren't going the way I want them to doesn't mean they have completely fallen apart. I still love my friend dearly because she came into my life when I needed her the most. She brought out a side of me that had been hidden for a long time. I am thankful for the bond that we shared and hope to be close to her again one day. She is a beatiful person and i respect her in so many ways. If she reads this, which I don't know if she does, I hope she realizes it is her I am talking about. I am really thankful for you and what you brought to my life. Anyway, on a lighter note, THANKSGIVING IS ALMOST HERE!!!!!! I seriously can't wait. Thats all for now. :)

2008-11-17T14:07:00.001-06:00

I think I had a very nice weekend. On Friday I went to dinner with some friends and then on Saturday I went to a baby shower for one of my dear friends from high school. No sleeping in on Saturday because the shower was at 10am.....thanks Lindsey. :) I figured I would know a couple of people at the shower but oddly enough I knew a lot more then I thought. Of course some of my high school buddies were there. I was really happy to see my friend Heather, who lives in Colorado. I was sure she wouldn't be there. So happy. It is always nice to see the high school girls. After high school everyone has moved here there and everywhere. I like that we try and get together at least once a year. They have played a huge role in my life and I love those girls more than anything. So my mom called me on Tuesday and said that she was going to be out of town for a couple of weeks because her and her husband were going to Hawaii. WHAT????? They booked the vacation on Tuesday and left on Thursday. Um, okay, how did they do that because they are not money bags. One of her friends had a time share that needed to be used so they basically just paid for their flights and anything extra. I was very jealous. Sometime before I die I will go there. Beware because I might be that 80 year old woman in a bikini on the beach in Maui. :) Don't think I wouldn't do that because I sure would. I am so ready for Thanksgiving. I should celebrate that everyday because I have so much to be thankful for.....and I like turkey a lot. ha ha. I really am excited about the couple of days I get off of work. Okay, lets be honest, that is actually the most thing I am excited about. I love my work but it is draining sometimes. In fact, I want a nap right now. Yeah right, I wish. Peace.

2008-11-06T10:58:00.000-06:00

Well, nothing really huge has gone on in the last couple of weeks. I got to go and see my grandparents last weekend which was so fun. My family is great. I did receive a phonecall the other day which scared me to pieces. My sister and I were supposed to see a movie on Tuesday and I got a call from her around 3:30 saying she had to cancel. I asked her if everything was okay and she told me that sometime that morning she started to get a huge pain on the side of her belly. She said it was like no pain she had ever felt before. Of course she was crying because the pain was so bad so she go somebody to watch her class and went down to the nurse. While she was telling me this my heart was pounding because I was scared for the baby. She ended up having to call her doctor and the dr. said that it was mainly because her belly was streching. She called her husband and they immediately went home and took it easy. I know that Lindsay was terrified because, this being her first time being pregnant, she had no idea what was going on. I spoke with her yesterday and she said she was feeling a lot better. Oh, and by the way, the movie we were going to go see was High School Musical 3. Go ahead and laugh, but I love those movies. My mom went with me instead and it was magical. :) I really need to go to the store because I have like 3 baby showers in the next couple of weeks and have not bought a single thing. It is not like me to be so late with getting gifts. Oh well, this weekend will be the shopping weekend. Fun stuff.

So thankful....

2008-10-29T10:38:00.001-05:00

Well today is a very thankful day for me because it marks the 5th year anniversary of my car accident. Some people will think that it sure seems like a long time ago, but for me it just seems like yesterday. I feel like after this year, October 29 will just be another day for me. This is the first time I have actually worked on this day since then. I don't want it to be a big thing for me anymore. Okay now I know some of you might be thinking it is a big day for me because something very tragic happened on this day, but I think that I kind of need to move on from it. For those of you who know me pretty well, you know that I don't really care for the emotional stuff. If today is just another day in my book then it will take away some of the emotional feelings I feel on this day. Sadly enough I have already cried once this morning. Afterwards I thought that I shouldn't be sad, but happy that God granted me more time here on earth. Today my parents wanted to see me so they are taking me to lunch and dinner, but next year I will go about my everyday routine with no interruptions relating to my accident. This may all sound really weird to you guys so sorry about that. Okay so enough of that talk. I get to go to San Antonio this weekend and see my wonderful grandparents. I am so excited. I love to visit them. Time means more now because my grandad has prostate cancer. It is a cancer that will outlive him so they are not too worried about it. He did 40 some odd teatments of radiation and hopefully that will be enough for now. They will go in and recheck sometime soon. I love my grandparents so much and can't even stand the thought of losing them. I lost my grandmother 6 years ago and that was really tough. Other then the cancer thing, they are all in good health. So today I am very thankful for so many things in my life.

I'm going to have a nephew!

2008-10-15T10:42:00.000-05:00

So I went to Lubbock this past weekend for the Texas Tech/Nebraska game. Wasn't that a nailbiter??? It is funny because almost all of one side of my family lives in Nebraska so one would think I would route for them right? Well, I routed for Tech. My sister and brother in law both graduated from there. I was very happy they won. It was a nice family gathering because I drove up with my mom and then we met my uncle, cousin, his wife, and their 2 kids there. I don't get to see them very often so it was a pleasure spending time with them. I also got to see my precious friend Lindsay, who I hadn't seen in over 5 years. During that time she got married and had 2 kids. I was so happy to meet all 3 of them. We didn't get to spend a heck of a lot of time together, but that was okay, because even 5 minutes would have been good enough for me. When we got back on Sunday, I wasn't feeling very well and I ended up staying home from work on Monday. The stomach flu is the worst. It ended up being okay though because I got a call from my sister that afternoon telling me that they found out they are having a little boy. That made my day so much better. His name is going to be Brody Journey Lewis. They decided on that a long time ago. I suppose they are sticking with it because they are telling everyone about the name. I had my sister over for dinner last night and her belly really popped up. I have been taking monthly pictures to document the growth and I took one last week and it was still pretty flat. I guess it just happened overnight between last week and last night. She looks so cute. She said she is really starting to feel the whole pregnancy thing and she didn't say it in a happy tone. Hopefully it will get better for her. I still haven't wrapped my mind around the thought that she is going to have a kid in March. My life is very full right now.

DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA.....

2008-10-07T10:15:00.000-05:00

As you get older, isn't the drama supposed to stop with your friends? I guess not. I honestly feel like I am in high school again. I just can't do it anymore. I am too old for this. I suppose I need to buck up and tell my friends that I am out of it and not to tell me anything. It has nothing to do with me yet I feel so drained from hearing everything and giving advice. I guess the thing to do is just say no. This blog was pointless, sorry, just needed to vent a little.

First Time Out of the Gate

2008-09-29T13:10:00.001-05:00

Okay so my friends really wanted me to start a blog so that I would have links for other blogs. I tried to explain to them that I have nothing to blog about. I'm not getting married anytime soon and I'm not pregnant. I really don't live that exciting of a life. Well, I am giving it a shot. Here's whats going on now in my life. I will be a first time aunt in March so maybe I can post pictures of my little nice or nephew when they come. I am so excited to be an aunt. I really thought this day would never come. My sister and her husband have been married for about 3 years so I really thought they would wait a little longer. I really thought that since my sister just started her first year of teaching. Well, I of course was wrong. Let me explain how I was told I was going to be an aunt. This was mid July and I was at work and it was about 3:00PM. I get a call from my sister which I thought was weird because she never calls me during the week at this time because she is at work. When I answered she asked if I was alone. I immediately thought someone had died. That was legit to think since she asked if I as alone right? Well, she thought it was weird that my mind went there and assured me it was a good thing. She then just blurted out that they were pregnant. I really didn't know what to say because that was not what I was expecting to come out of her mouth. I was in floored. Of course I was happy though. That was the best news I had heard in a long time. The little bundle of joy is due in the spring and I really cannot wait. From what happened 5 years ago, I almost wasn't here to see this but I am and I feel very blessed. I would put the sonogram picture below but seeing as I am new to this. I have no idea how. I will learn soon enough....be patiend. :)